Afterthoughts

The simplicity of life in hindsight

Songs of my emotions

I’ve lived the last few months of my life like I’ve been living a blue dream. I’ve been through the blissful ups and the heartbreaking downs.  I’ve been loved, hated, adored and abhorred all at the same time. I didn’t really know what songs my emotions were singing, I didn’t really believe that the emotions could be singing songs of love. I would then turn to my gut feeling, a feeling that I haven’t trusted in the past. I turn to him, but he wouldn’t tell me. Why would he? I deserted him all these years.

Yesterday, it wasn’t my brain, it wasn’t my gut or my heart that told me what I really felt. It was my tear ducts. My tear ducts opened up to me. It gave me it’s all, it opened my eyes to the future. It opened my eyes to how I really felt about all that’s going to happen in a few months. It told me that I was hopelessly in love. It brought me down to reality, it woke me up from the blue dream that I lived in. Someone had to. I now live in the real world, with the sole objective of realizing my blue dream. I refuse to let fate make my decisions for me. I refuse to let fate destroy my blue dream.

The world’s my little oyster. I will not deprive my emotions the joy of singing his songs of love. Last time I checked, he learned all those songs listening to us on the bus when we laughed, when we fought and more importantly when we loved.

This is for you. It always has been.

 

 

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