The simplicity of life in hindsight
Marvel Comics FC
That’s right, you heard it first on this blog. When you find your hair graying around your temples and you find tiny little kids running up to you for wisdom, you shall remember that the first ever team assembled to beat FC Barcelona was assembled right here.
Over the past few years, the masters of football have clearly been established, and they can safely be assumed to hold on to this crown for a few years to come. When men from the United Arab Emirates spend millions and millions trying to buy mere mortals from different parts of the world, when Russians start throwing cash to the Portuguese for a 33-year-old to manage a bunch of 34 year olds, and when certain french managers start twiddling their thumbs, you know that the world has reached a new frenzy. A frenzy where teams would do just about anything to beat FC Barcelona. I, on the other hand, have the perfect plan to dethrone the Catalans.
Meet Marvel FC.
No 1. Thor (GK)
Who else could possibly be No. 1? A little tough to beat one on one, even if you’re Messi. You can almost hear the commentator go, “Messi skips past one, dances around the other, nutmegs the last defender, one on one with Thor……. BOOM. Thor swings the Mjolnir, and the ball lands in Asgard. New ball please.
No 2. Tony Stark (CBL)
Right footed, Counter-intelligence agent trained to kick Nazi ass a.k.a Captain America. We need him incase Tony stark.. uhm gets distracted of sorts.
The Ideal full back – pacy and knows how to live with a bomb ticking on his forehead. We might have team blending issues because of his history with Captain America, but hey which team doesn’t have its issues. Think John Terry and Wayne Bridge.
If there’s anybody who can be trusted with the playmaker’s role, it has to be the creative genius Dr. Doom. He’s never misplaced a defence splitting pass, but then again he does have infinite attempts. God bless his time machine.
A wicked box to box midfielder, and a midfield destroyer (literally), who goes by the name “The Hulk” at sunset. His rage is known to thwart many an attacking move. And no, this is not the Hulk from FC porto, he has a release clause of 25 million euros. Bruce, on the other hand has no release clause, he does exactly what he wants.
Deployed as a winger to weave webs around opposing defences, and even more crucially – his spidy sense against Messi’s guile, a match? I think not.
A.k.a Mystique, the shape changer. You can almost see it, Eric Abidal running at full place along the flanks only to see another Eric Abidal running right at him taking him on. That might just make it on to you tube and generate a million hits.
An ideal supporting striker, also a member of the fantastic four, an Invisible woman can make all the difference. So much, for the offside trap.
A quality finisher – The Wolverine. He can rip any defence to shreds, hopefully not with adamantium claws though. That might get ugly.
Doc Ock is inclining toward employing a 4-4-2 formation, signaled one of his tentacles, while two other tentacles were locked in a furious game of thumb wrestling. Doc Ock and Spider-man have always had a strained relationship because of various off the field incidents (Note: Doc Ock and Spider-man in Spider-man 2), there’s talk that spider-man might be transfer listed. Doc Ock employs a direct style of play, hinging more on counter attack and radioactively mutated slick movement. Wolverine and Dr. Doom are crucial to Doc Ock’s scheme of things.
Ground: The Ground of Asgard; Capacity: 400,000 mortals and 600,000 mutants.
It’s time for Barcelona’s reign of supremacy to end, it’s time. Pep Guardiola has met his match in Doc Ock. There’s a time for a superhero to step up, no better time than now. The land of Asgard shall witness a spectacle, and I will sit back and laugh, knowing that I am the evil schemer, in the scheme of things.
Disclaimer: All logos, pictures and names of characters are copyrighted by Marvell Inc. If you really like their books, go buy them at your nearest book store.
Barcelona, and all the names and logos associated with them are copyrighted Barcelona FC. If you really like them, you should probably jump off a cliff.
The concept of Marvel Characters playing against Barcelona FC is copyrighted by me and this blog.
- FC Barcelona: Top 5 Acts vs. Madrid Worthy of Oscars (bleacherreport.com)
- Are There Too Many Supporting Characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? (simonwalters.wordpress.com)
- Costume Redesigns for Captain America, Spider-Man & Thor (geektyrant.com)